Español

So since about, well forever - I've always felt like my Spanish has never been "good enough." Yes, I know I was a Spanish major and I even grew up in a bilingual home, where we had to speak both languages. (My dad would refuse to answer us if we would ask him questions in English and he always answers us in Spanish, regardless of what language we speak to him in.) And I am grateful for this, because while I feel like my Spanish isn't always the best (speaking-wise) I can fully understand it. At such an early age, my parents ingrained into us to always be proud of who we were and to never forget our culture, and language is a big part of it. And if I ever decide to have kids, I plan on doing the same.
But lately, I feel like I'm losing my Spanish even more. I don't speak it, read it or let alone write it, like I did while in my undergrad. I find myself questioning the words that I am about to use or even hesitating when I even go to say something. And I can't quite figure out why.
Although, yesterday Maciel (the prof from Mexicali) did say that my Spanish was very good (yay) and that I seemed comfortable switching from English to Spanish. I didn't tell him that really I grew up, being fluent in Spanglish. If you ever get a chance to be around my mom and her sisters then you will understand. These women are the queens of code-switching, starting a sentence in Spanish and finishing it in English or vice-versa and even changing languages in the middle of a sentence. It's hard at first, but once you get the rhythm, you'll be able to follow and understand.
Also, apparently I don't really have an accent that people would know where I was from. That used to be something that would bug me. Well more the "Wow, your English is great - you don't have any kind of accent, I would have never known you spoke Spanish." Yeah you moron, that's because I was born here. I still need to get this bag (on the right) from Angry Little Girls. It says: Deborah: Wow, you speak English so well.
Kim: I was born here you dumbass.'

Ok I'm off to bed now.